


The Pirate and The Princess

by synvamp



Category: One Piece
Genre: Captain Zoro, Chaos, Crazy OCs, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Man I love rage!Sanji way too much, Pirate AU, Ridiculous Crack, Sanji is wild, Shenanigans, Swearing, Zoro is cool calm and collected, prince sanji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:28:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27200434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/synvamp/pseuds/synvamp
Summary: One Piece Pirate AU! Zoro is the Captain of his own crew of delightfully wild pirates. One day they come across a ship with a member of the royal family – a perfect opportunity for a huge ransom, surely? Unfortunately, Zoro is expecting a sweet helpless princess. What he gets is a mouthy, leggy blond who is as gorgeous as he is deadly. Chaotic pirates, high seas shenanigans and enemies to lovers XD
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 34
Kudos: 173





	1. Princess? In your dreams asshole

**Author's Note:**

> A collab with the lovely b_sparkles – I enjoyed working with you on this so much!

\---xxx---

Sunlight glinted off the calm ocean and the ship rolled from side to side with the currents. A gentle breeze teased the slack sails but aside from that, the ocean was still as glass. It had been clear and sunny for days now and they had hogged the vast blue horizon to themselves.

Captain Zoro was bored out of his mind. His pirate crew were scattered around the ship much where he had left them. From his reclined position he could see Nobo the smithy working and a couple of the new lads carting barrels on the deck. He liked to keep the crew on their toes with new and interesting forms of torture training, but even that was beginning to wear thin. Just when he was starting to contemplate going for a swim to catch some sea kings, he heard the frantic shouts of the lookout from high above,

“Ship ahoy! Hard a-starboard!”

The swordsman leapt to his feet, every muscle twitching with anticipation. Finally, a fight!

“What flag are they flying?” Zoro prayed for pirates. Even though he knew that they needed money, he wanted to fight someone strong. He could train all day, every day and it would never be the same as testing his mettle in real combat. He needed the threat of death to push him further. That was why he was a pirate: to feel the burn of muscles pushed to the limit, to taste blood and sweat, to go to the end of his endurance, to the absolute bounds of possibility… and push.

To be the best.

“They’re not pirates, Captain,” Sparky shouted back down, reading his mind, “looks like the flag of the Kingdom of Erhardt.”

Scamper, their monkey-like cabin boy, swung up to the crow’s nest. He shaded his eyes with one hand and then grinned down, nodding frantically. He couldn’t talk (Zoro had found him half dead in an alley with his tongue cut out), but he made up for that by sheer enthusiasm.

Zoro yanked a pair of binoculars from the nearest neck. He ignored the choking noise, put them to his eyes and scanned the horizon. What the hell were they on about? His first mate tapped him on the shoulder and sighed, then turned the Captain round to face the other ship. She was such a smart ass.

It definitely looked like an Erhardt Kingdom vessel and an expensive one, too. Banners of red and gold blew in the breeze and the sails were a rich, dark red. It was a big ship; it could even be their flagship. The Kingdom was known as a soft target all through East Blue, they were more interested in food and wine than warfare. It was definitely worth a stopover.

“Everyone topside!” he bellowed. “Let’s go get some sake!”

A rousing cry issued from below and his crew began to pour onto the deck.

“Scamper! Get down from there!” The lad dropped at his feet and grinned up at the swordsman. Zoro wondered if he would ever grow any taller, he had to be four foot nothing at best. “Go find Poker and wake him up.”

Big blue eyes opened wide. Scamper obviously did not want to wake Poker. Zoro didn’t blame him; he had to be the only man in the world who handled a hangover with less grace than Zoro did. The kid shook his head emphatically. “Yes,” Zoro said, ruffling the boy’s hair, “go get him. I’ll give you rock candy…” Before Zoro could even finish his sentence, Scamper was off. He bounced merrily through the chaos and disappeared below deck.

“Alright scumbags, get your kit on and grab a grappling line each. I’m not having them just sail away this time.” He glared at Nobo who at least had the grace to look guilty. The Erhardt ship was looming much closer now, the sheer size was incredible. It was almost an island in its own right.

Just as he was strapping his last katana securely to his belt, Zoro was hit in the stomach by a flying furball. A bellow rolled around the ship and a loud thumping noise roared towards him. Zoro looked down in surprise to see Scamper staring up at him.

“WHERE’S THAT SHIT OF A CABIN BOY IF I GET MY HANDS ON HIM I’M GOING TO… Oh, Zoro. Seen Scamper?”

Poker loomed over the swordsman, his cascade of black hair falling over his face. He was a huge man, in every sense of the word. Zoro appreciated his strength and loyalty but he could seriously use a diet.

“Yes, he’s behind me,” Zoro replied, laughing at the gasp of betrayal before the boy was gone again like a shot into the rigging.

“Come on,” Zoro laid a hand on Poker’s shoulder to stop him from lifting off the ground in rage, “I told him to wake you. Look,” he gestured out at the huge ship that was now only metres away. They were struggling to escape but Zoro’s ship was small and much more manoeuvrable. They had no-where to go. He could hear the sound of swords being unsheathed and knives being sharpened. Fat lot of good it would do them.

Poker beamed down at him, he loved a fight as much as Zoro.

“Well why didn’t you say so?!” he shouted up at the terrified boy. Scamper just rolled his eyes.

Poker turned around to get a brief on the battle plan; he always liked to be prepared for every possible outcome. Unfortunately, his Captain was already gone. With a weary sigh, he hauled his massive body up the grappling rope that Zoro had left behind. If he didn’t get a wriggle on, all the fun would be over before he’d even got over his headache.

Zoro vaulted over the railing and landed on the deck, swords drawn. It was a bit disappointing. There were at least a hundred soldiers but the swordsman’s rough crew were cutting them down with ease. Most of them were armed with only a flimsy spear, sword and shield. Not really worth the effort. He blew a dozen men off the ship with a tornado, then marched off to find the Captain of the ship.

He was in a cupboard.

Technically, it was a dressing room (as the Captain made sure to point out) but it looked like a cupboard to Zoro. The rather small man in a dark red naval uniform explained that he wasn’t a fighter and he left that sort of thing to people more that way inclined. Besides which, he had a very important job and no-one else could poss…

Zoro got bored. Quickly. “Name?!” he barked.

“Heathfield!” the man whimpered.

“So… Heathfield…” the swordsman purred, one naked katana biting ever so gently at the terrified man’s throat, “what are you doing out here?”

“Um… we were just patrolling..?” the Captain asked. Zoro lifted the blade just a little.

“Ah! No… we were trading! We have lots of gold on-board!” he squeaked.

“Well…” Zoro relaxed his grip and indicated for the man to step out of the cupboard, “show me.”

The man scuttled to his feet and brushed off his ridiculously big three-corner hat, placing it firmly on his head, then led the way.

Captain Heathfield prattled away, all nerves. “We have a huge treasure. You’ll be very happy. It’s actually quite amaz..” Zoro encouraged him to shush with a jab or two and very soon he was gloating over quite a decent haul. This would keep them in red meat and sake for months! And the rest…

“Well,” Zoro grinned, “I’ll be taking this then,” he hefted a stupidly large load on his back.

“There’s much more, we even have gold dishes. Take as much as you like!” the small man pulled an expression half smile and half grimace.

“I will.” What a weirdo.

Zoro went back to the deck to grab his crew. The first person he saw was his first mate, Rosa Blackwell. As fierce as she was dedicated; she had a high brow, long dark hair and eyes as sharp and gold as a hawk. She was the perfect companion on the high seas, especially if you like to fight.

Currently, she was illustrating that passion by whooping the crap out of anyone who came within ten feet of her.

“Rosa!” He called.

She turned and stopped twirling her blades, grinning when she spotted the overflowing sacks that practically hid Zoro from view. She strolled over to him, taking the time to throw a couple of her prized knives at soldiers who looked like they might be thinking about attacking her.

Zoro hefted his load so he could see her. “Tell everyone we’re leaving.”

“Here! You missed some!” A young soldier with a severely dented helmet hefted a last sack of coins onto the teetering mass then scrambled away.

Zoro balanced his load and walked slowly towards the railing, making sure not to step on anyone. He heard a collective sigh of relief and a gentle breeze rolled past him. He turned back, one eyebrow raised.

“What was that?!” the swordsman growled.

“Um… nothing.” Captain Heathfield was smiling so hard it looked like his face hurt; sweat was pouring from under his hat. Various soldiers lounged about in unconvincing ‘innocent’ poses; tying shoes, picking teeth… one was even whistling.

Zoro dropped his load and marched back. The Captain hid underneath his stupid hat and squirmed. The swordsman put his favourite katana right back where it started. The throat.

“Ok, well I guess I’ll just kill you and then search your ship,” the swordsman grinned wickedly. He didn’t mean it, but this guy didn’t know that. He twisted the blade and a tiny bead of crimson rolled from the edge.

“I must protect the throne!” The little man started to cry. Zoro almost felt sorry for him. Damn him! Zoro knocked him out and put his swords away. Protect the throne?

“Look at this,” Rosa called out.

A bolt of cloth hit Zoro in the face, just as he turned.

“Hey!” Damn woman!

“Just look at it, sheesh!” she huffed.

He unfolded the banner. It was red with a huge gold coat of arms.

“This is the symbol for the royal family,” she grinned.

“Protect the throne?” Zoro smiled back.

“There’s a daughter in the family, she’d be about the right age to get married by now,” Rosa mused.

“Everyone!” Zoro shouted. The chaos on the deck died down and his crew emerged from all the corners of the ship. “We have a Princess! Search the place, but don’t hurt her.”

He stepped carefully over the bodies and picked up his loot again, hefting it over the side onto the waiting ship.

“Watch it!” Blue screamed. Their cook had obviously decided to take a walk. More like a squelch, really. The way the jelly-fish merman moved was hard to describe.

“Put that below deck!” Zoro called out.

“Yeah, yeah!”

Not much to do now but wait and see if they found her... Zoro leaned over the rails and took in the elaborate woodwork. It was a really nice ship. He cast an eye over the rest of the slowly waking soldiers. They didn’t look like they wanted to fight anymore; pity. He stretched and wished that there had been someone decent to challenge… Wait… where the hell was everyone?

Zoro wandered back over the various unconscious sailors, towards the main cabin. As he approached, the door was kicked open and Nobo went flying past him, his ass briefly touching the deck before he skipped merrily into the drink. He could hear the thumping of bone on bone coming from inside. He hoped that the boys hadn’t injured her too badly, they were good lads but they could get a bit excited. It would be difficult to get a decent ransom for damaged goods…

“Get your fucking hands off me!” a voice screamed from the doorway. Sounded like they had their hands full, he smirked.

“Can’t you idiots even handle a delicate Princess?!” He peered into the room, the sight that greeted him wiped the smile right off his face.

“Princess? You wish shit-head,” a thin curl of smoke snaked out of the doorway, announcing the presence of a tall slender blonde in a suit so sharp it was practically a weapon. The man cast a derisive eye over Zoro’s crew and smirked. They were scattered all over the floor in a groaning heap of mangled limbs. Even Poker. What the hell was this guy?

He had soft blonde hair, clear blue eyes and a goatee that looked more like fluff than facial hair. However, despite long slender legs and eyelashes like palm fronds… definitely not a Princess. The way he stood showed that he was a fighter, that and the pile of bodies.

“So who the hell are you?” Zoro asked, rolling Scamper over with his toe. The dumb kid had just fainted, figures.

The man glared through a curtain of blonde and dropped his cigarette, grinding it out on Sparky’s head with his toe. “This is my ship, asshole. I should be asking the questions.”

“Your ship? You important?” Zoro quizzed, though it was pretty obvious. The guy’s dark blue and gold stripe suit looked like it was worth more than all Zoro’s swords put together. Such a waste.

“Important enough,” the blonde scoffed, “I’m the Prince.”

That explained the outfit. Also the determined tilt of the chin. It made no difference to him though; a royal was a royal. “Good. You’re coming with me.”

The leggy blonde grinned at him and blew a thin, steady stream of smoke out between pursed lips.

“Bring it on, Marimo. I’ll use you to polish my shoes.”

Marimo? Oh, now it was on. He lunged at the blonde and then sidestepped reaching out to sweep him up in open arms and hoist him high. He was coming whether he liked it or not. The Prince kicked him in the left kidney – hard – and proceeded to scream the place down,

“How dare you, you worthless pirate piece of shit!”

“Shut your mouth,” Zoro grumbled in his ear as he tried to get the struggling bundle out the low door. All the wriggling was not helping, especially as Zoro was quite partial to blondes.

“Like hell I will!!!” The Prince proceeded to dig every part of his angular body into anything he could find. The swordsman got outside but after being kneed in the balls one too many times, Zoro finally put the asshole down.

“Look, you’re coming with us either way, so if you don’t want me to ruin your pretty face then just shut up and let me do my job.” It would be a bit of a waste, really. Maybe if he tied him up and then carried him…

“Not quite what we were expecting then…” The soft voice of his first mate came from behind him. Should have known that she would be enjoying the show.

“He’ll do,” Zoro replied. “He’s still of royal blood.”

“Don’t tell me I just saw you getting your balls kicked by an Erhardt Prince… If only the boys were awake to see it,” she grinned laconically and jumped down from her perch on the rigging.

“Oh, mademoiselle! I’m so sorry that I didn’t see you there! You are a sexy lady, aren’t you? How lucky that I could..” the Prince began to prattle.

“Shut up!” Zoro snapped. She was enough of a handful as it was without some fop egging her on! He was already preening and fussing over her. There goes his sense of dignity and patriotism. What a poser!

The man was very attractive though, in a polished, up himself kind of way. His body was toned and lithe. He was certainly a hell of a fighter and very fiery too. He was lucky that Zoro wasn’t the type of pirate to take advantage of this kind of situation. He smirked. Pity really…

“Well, I’m going.” Rosa grinned and leapt back across to the pirate ship.

“Wait, mademoiselle! I’m coming!” the Prince called, leaping in hot pursuit behind her. In a flash he was over the railing and on Zoro’s ship, racing off towards the galley like his pants were on fire.

Well, that was surprisingly easy.

Now all he had to do was wake up his damn crew.

\---xxx---


	2. Fighting Foreplay

\---xxx---

The ocean sparkled with morning light; it refracted, reflected and blinded anyone within miles with a hangover. The boat rolled over the gentle swell, skipping across waves as the sails caught the salty breeze. They were between islands and the sky touched the water in all directions, horizon to horizon blue.

Sanji let the sweet warmth of his two hours of sunshine soak into his skin. It was wonderful to be out in the open salt air and moving his stiff limbs. He had shed the trappings of state and stripped down to just pants and an open shirt. He was used to the pitch and heave of the boat so training wasn’t a problem, aside from the fact that he could barely move.

The ache in Sanji’s calves was killing him. Being cooped up in a box certainly did nothing for his flexibility; he could barely put his palms flat on the deck. It was shameful! It didn’t do much for his temper either. To stop from killing someone he had to find things to do to let off steam. At the moment he was indulging in his new favourite hobby,

“…and another thing, what do you call that grey sludge that you use for soap? No wonder you all stink so abominably!” he announced to the ship in general. He knew that there were people in earshot but for some reason they seemed to disappear when he came out on deck.

“…and the room! It’s ridiculous, I wouldn’t put a dog in a room that size. I’ll break my back!” he nodded to his invisible audience and sighed. Oh well, at least now he could stretch. The Prince began with some gentle leg stretches and then moved on to some low kicks. “What are you staring at?” he huffed at the scruffily dressed cabin boy hanging upside down from the rigging.

The boy grinned and twirled a finger on his forehead.

“I think that means he’s staring at your stupid curly eyebrows,” a sultry female voice said behind him. He turned slowly; lowering the foot he was currently waving in the air. It was the raven-haired goddess herself.

“Ah my sweet, how gracious of you to choose to..” Sanji flattered.

“Yes, I’m sure,” she cut him off with a polite smile. “Time’s up. Back to your cabin.”

A huge man with long dark hair and a permanent scowl grimaced at him over the goddess’s shoulder, possibly indigestion but it appeared that he was laughing. The sheer cheek!

“You!” Sanji growled at him, the man’s bushy brows rose in surprise but he ambled over standing just close enough to the Prince to put his entire body into a looming shadow.

“Yes?” he smiled down, revealing a jagged smile with the occasional irregular gaps.

“Tell the Captain that I won’t put up with this disgraceful treatment any longer! This is inhumane! How could you possibly expect to get a ransom for me if I’m just a pale, malnourished weak shell of my former self? Do you know how much red meat I’ve eaten in the last two days? I can’t believe that any person who dares to call themselves a co..”

Sanji trailed off as a huge hand sailed through the air towards him. He’d already kicked this guy’s ass so he wasn’t *that* worried but it’s always good to be prepared. The enormous fist landed gently on his shoulder and he found himself being patted consolingly.

“It’s alright,” Poker said, “Eventually we’ll get sick of you and throw you over board and all your worries will be over,” he beamed down at the Prince and then turned to walk off. Sanji saw red and was about to bring an axe kick akin to the wrath of God down on the offensive oaf’s head when he heard something that stopped him in his tracks: the delightful sound of a beautiful lady laughing into the cool sea breeze.

Once he had melted and then reconstituted himself out of a puddle of drool he was resigned to his fate.

Back to the cage it was.

Yay.

He stared out the window of his cramped room and watched the world go by. More appropriately, he watched about a square foot of ocean go by. Wave after wave after wave. Stupid Marimo said he was confined to the cabin and could only come out for those two precious hours each day. Even though it had only been a couple of days now he was bored out of his mind. He could hear the crew bashing around outside most of the time. Despite the fact that they were all incredibly rude, they had all treated him pretty well. No one had tried to hurt him and they seemed to be pretty normal guys.

Except the Captain.

Even though he chose to go along with this ridiculous kidnapping, he had almost decided to stay on his father’s ship when he clapped eyes on the swordsman. He made Sanji’s skin crawl in an undefinable way. Everyone else didn’t bother him but Marimo seemed to be just a little bit dangerous. Maybe it was just the three swords… He didn’t even know the guy’s name. Maybe he should have just stayed put. He could have waited until they got to the island before vanishing, he didn’t have to stay for the wedding.

It wasn’t like it was his idea in the first place.

At first he thought that the Captain might try to overpower him. He was good-looking, supple and blond after all and he’d heard all about pirates and their insatiable sexual appetites! Raping and pillaging was pretty much what pirates did, right? But as the days wore on, nothing seemed to happen and his secret thrill of something new and unexpected became the dull humdrum of being stuck in a shitty box with no one to talk to. Even the sexy lady had only been visible for ten minutes total in the last two days. Clearly he was not in danger of being attacked, drugged or ravished in any way.

Although, he might be in danger of being poisoned.

The food here was absolutely terrible. It was almost as if someone had just waved some ingredients at each other and then thrown it all on a plate. The day before he had been given what appeared to be a lump of half-cooked fish in milk. He ate it, of course, just cause he was rich it didn’t mean he’d waste food! But he didn’t like it that was for sure.

The sound of a heavy bolt turning announced that someone was turning the lock on his cabin. Prince Sanji struck a pose and put an unlit cigarette between his lips. All ready. A green head ducked through the door and the Captain himself swooped into the room. He was about the same height as Sanji but his frame was heavier and his skin was dark with a rich tan. His muscled chest struggled against leather straps, which buckled his three blades to him wherever he went. He scrutinized the blond, his sharp eyes swept over the room once then he went to leave.

Sanji cleared his throat and began,

“Wait just a minute Marimo, I have some complaints to make about this establishment. The water is too cold, the view is always the same and the food is terrible. Oh, plus the women are all men, except for one, who seems to be invisible. Haven’t you ever thou..”

“ _Shut up_.”

Sanji was not going to be dissuaded that easily, “Look here, Marimo. I think that I’ve done more than enough to aid your cause. I’ve been a good hostage and I haven’t caused any trouble. Now I’m bored shitless and I want some entertainment. And cigarettes. Golden tigers from Ambrose Island, I’m almost out.”

The Captain turned slowly and blinked at him.

“I’m sorry, are you deaf?” The intense black eyes of the swordsman bored into his skull.

“No, are you? I’m not kidding. I want smokes, food and decent company.”

“Well tough,” the Captain crossed his arms and shrugged.

Something about the man’s nonchalant shrug and his contemptuous smirk made Sanji’s blood boil. For a man used to getting his own way, this was beyond infuriating!

He kicked the coffee table at the Captain’s head. The Marimo drew a sword and sheathed it in the blink of an eye, showering splinters in every direction. Sanji flinched and a trickle of blood ran down his cheek.

“That hurt shit-head!” he fumed.

The Captain just smirked at him. That was the final straw.

Sanji launched a spinning heel kick and aimed for the smug grin. Marimo moved sideways and caught him off balance, turning his momentum against him. The Prince counteracted quickly and rolled out of the swordsman’s grip and onto his hands. He rained a whirling handstand of kicks onto the Captain then his shins hit upon cold steel.

“Don’t make me hurt you, Your Highness.”

“Don’t make me laugh, Marimo.”

The Captain’s grinning features twisted into a scowl.

“It’s ZORO.”

Three swords crossed and Sanji was thrown across the room, all eight feet of it. He launched off the wall and his kick hit steel again, this time he forced it and gained a precious couple of inches. He caught the swordsman off guard and got in a heavy kick to his side. The Captain trapped his foot and pulled him forwards and knocked his other foot out from under him. He tried to get his hands down to flip out of the vice-like grip but the swordsman pinned him to the ground with three crossed blades.

“Stay still!” the Captain barked. “I don’t care that the food is shit, or that you are out of smokes or least of all, that you are bored. You will sit down, shut up and do whatever the hell I tell you!”

Sanji, of course, did the opposite of staying still.

“Stop it you idiot, you’ll just hurt yourself,” Marimo grumbled.

The Prince managed to get one leg up and around the Captain’s body… then rotate around… one of the swords was moved to prevent him from gaining an advantage, so he swivelled the other way and tried to break loose. He could feel the tight muscles of the swordsman through the thin fabric of his expensive suit. It was making their bodies grind together in the most terrible and wonderful way but if he could just… get… a little… further…

“I said STOP IT.”

The voice was cold as death and twice as full of evil promise. The Prince froze.

“I told you, Princess. You will do…” the swordsman drew his blades back slowly one by one, “whatever… I… say…” He let the pressure of his body linger just a little longer than he needed to and Sanji saw the look in his predator’s eyes. His body froze up but only for a second. No one took advantage of Prince Sanji without his permission!

“I’m not just going to take it!” he shouted, kicking out hard and rolling out of reach. The swordsman copped a knock to the head but he looked a lot more stunned by the words.

“Take what?” he asked, rubbing his jaw where the imprint of Sanji’s tailored shoe was just starting to show.

“If you think that I’ll just let you fuck me then you’ve got another thing coming!”

“ _What?_ ” the Captain looked confused, then bemused. “I’m not going to try to force you, baka.”

“That’s what I’m saying! There’s no way you’re going to get near me!”

Sanji waved a defensive foot in the air between him and the Marimo. Now that the Captain had put away his swords... a quick one-two and Sanji was on the front foot again. He kicked high, bringing his heel down to knock the swordsman’s searching hand away from the hilts of his blades. Zoro looked a bit surprised at that and he used the distraction to bring his knee in to sweep the swordsman off the floor. He twisted his long legs around and in a minute he had the Captain trapped beneath him.

“I’m not just going to let you bend me over and fuck me,” he growled in Zoro’s ear.

“Then why’d you let us catch you?”

Sanji couldn’t believe it. He was still a smart ass even with his face squashed into the floorboards.

“You didn’t catch me! I just hitched a ride.” The impudence!

“So, what? Now you’re going to fuck me?” the Captain laughed.

“No!” Sanji blushed and jumped up.

“Really? Pity,” Zoro grinned, stretching and then slowly got up off the floor. “Seems like you were enjoying being my prisoner there for a minute.”

“Well I wasn’t!”

“Ok,” Zoro shrugged, “I’m not the type to force a lady..”

“I’m not a fucking lady! How dare you! I’m sick of your contemptuous, arroga…” Sanji trailed off. Zoro was holding up a packet of some of the shittiest cigarettes in the whole of the East Blue.

They looked really good right now.

Sanji just stood and death stared Zoro, silently begging him to hand them over. The unlit smoke between his lips was his last one and he had been sucking it for so long it was starting to go soggy.

Zoro grinned, “This is all we’ve got so they’ll have to do. As for the food, if you think you can do better, knock yourself out.”

The Captain threw the packet to him and strode out the door with a swagger.

“That all, Marimo?”

“No,” Zoro moved so fast that Sanji barely registered it before the swordsman was behind him. The Prince could feel his warm breath tickle the skin on the back of his neck, “Call me Zoro, Princess,” he growled.

Somehow instead of rage, Sanji felt vaguely disappointed.

  
\---xxx---

The Captain liked to take a minute at the end of the day to himself. It was a good chance to meditate and consider how to repair the damage that his enthusiastic crew had inflicted on the ship during the day. Tonight it was warm and the hot wind was billowing in the sails so strong it made the ship fly as if it sailed on the silver clouds.

Zoro stared up at the moon and reviewed the things that he had learnt about his guest in the last few days. His name. That he’s a pain in the ass. That he’s a formidable fighter. That he’s the guy they wrote 'the Princess and the pea' about.

Plus, he wanted something.

Zoro knew the Prince could have put up much more of a fight. If there was one thing the swordsman knew, it was fighting and this guy was no lightweight. What the hell would a Prince want with a bunch of pirates? His vote was still on the fact that he enjoyed being helpless. There was something in his eyes that screamed, ‘take me!’ Maybe it was just wishful thinking. It had been a long time…

The guy was a lot more fun than he should be for a Prince. His raging temper and blazing blue eyes meant Zoro loved to make him angry. Whatever it was that he wanted, Zoro was sure as hell going to enjoy not giving it to him.

“You’re thinking,” a low sultry voice said clearly above him.

Damn Rosa! She always snuck up on him!

He could feel her grinning in the dark. She dropped to the deck without a sound and continued, “That has to be a bad sign.”

“I’m just thinking how much we can sell that idiot Prince for when we get to port,” he lied.

“Really?” she mused, shaking her head. Clearly not falling for it.

“I just want to know why he’s here. If he has some plan then he’s a liability.” How did everything get so complicated? Blonds. Always blonds!

“Scamper wants to know if he’s really a girl. You should have seen the gestures he made to ask me that. Truly disturbing.”

Zoro laughed. Looks like the Princess was cursed.

“Tell him yes. Tell him that I’m going to make him my wife.”

“Really?” she pondered. “I always wondered what your type was. I should have realised that a ball-kicking, filthy-mouthed, arrogant prick would be perfect for you.”

Zoro fought the urge to defend him. She was right after all.

“He is kind of cute though…” she mused. “Well, that answers my next few questions so I’ll leave you to it,” she grinned and melted into the shadows.

It was slightly unnerving but Zoro had gotten used to it.

He was pretty cute.

Damn woman!

\---xxx---


	3. The Way to a Man's Heart

\---xxx---  
  
With an almighty crack, the door to the hold went flying out over the railing of the ship. It skipped a few times, turning on its edge and then finally settled about two hundred metres away, bobbing in the salty brine. Scamper raised one eyebrow, following the path of the rather large chunk of the ship out to sea. He blinked twice and then climbed just a few rungs further up the ladder he was perched on. That should do it.

“WHERE THE HELL IS HE!?!” Zoro shouted, bursting out from below deck. “Rosa!!!” he bellowed.

“Yes?” the dark-haired lady appeared behind him, voice calm and expression as blank as ever.

“What did you do with him?” Zoro said, his voice dangerously low and even.

“Me?” a smile glimmered in her eyes but her face was totally calm.

He was not in the mood for this. Ten more seconds and he was going to start stripping the damn ship.

She looked at him and raised one slow, doubtful eyebrow, rolled her eyes and then began, “Oh, you mean Prince Sanji,” she said, as if it was all news to her. He swore he was going to have an aneurysm one day.

“I am going to ask one more time. _Where. Is. He?_ ”

“You’re no fun, you know that?” she pouted. Zoro’s hair just about lifted off his head but he didn’t kill anyone. Someone really should give him a freaking award. “He’s in the kitchen,” she said, stepping back with a sigh.

Zoro marched past her towards the galley but not soon enough to miss her mumbling, “SOMEONE said he could cook if he wanted to.”

_Stupid bloody woman thinks that just because I say something, then it’s some kind of unwritten bloody law, who died and made her so self-important anyway? If I jump off a cliff, would she just go and do it too? No bloody judgement!_

The Captain stormed through the galley door and was immediately blinded by a huge cloud of steam. His eyes stung and he began to cough as fumes from Kami-knows-how-many spices filled his lungs. He drew one katana and held it out in front of him, enjoying the steady weight of the blade. He closed his eyes and turned with the sword, piercing the air and sending a wave of steam billowing out before him.

When he opened his eyes, the steam was gone and there was just a very indignant blond tapping his foot on the wooden floorboards. Sanji’s hair was everywhere after the breeze from the blade blasted through the room. His cheeks were flushed pink from the heat and a light sheen of sweat moistened his brow. The cut of the shirt he was wearing was so close that Zoro could see his muscles moving together under the thin fabric.

Mmmmm now _there_ is an appetiser.

Zoro decided that cooking suited him.

“What the hell are you doing?” the Prince asked, gesturing at the katana. “Put it away!”

Zoro was a little taken aback but the shock didn’t last long.

“What the hell am _I_ doing?! You’re a prisoner! Get back in your room!” Zoro shouted, pointing out the door and glaring.

Sanji just laughed at him. “No,” he said. “Oh, and pass me the turmeric. I’m making curry dumplings.”

“No you’re not,” Zoro said, waving his hand (and sword) around. He felt oddly impotent and confused around the Prince. Stupid target brow was utterly distracting; he kept tossing his head to brush his damp hair from his eyes, his muscles straining to escape…

“Well, I’m trying to. Your kitchen is shit, just for your reference,” he stood there tapping a spoon against the edge of a bowl and staring at Zoro.

The Captain just stared back. The solitary clear blue eye roved over his face, down his body and back up again. He had to be thinking the same thing the swordsman was, surely? Zoro had been training before he had gone to check on his prisoner, so he wasn’t exactly overdressed himself. Either that or the guy was thinking about how to take him out… what the heck, that would be fun too.

“Just sit down, you’re making me nervous,” Sanji grumbled. He turned his back and went back to beating some yellow dough thing.

Zoro slowly sheathed his blade and sat down on the nearest wooden bench. He frowned at the back of Sanji’s head. The Captain had good reason to have Sanji confined to his quarters. The Prince was taking quite a risk just wandering around. Some of the crew could be a bit too enthusiastic if they didn’t like you much. No one would pay a handsome reward for damaged goods and Zoro was still considering collecting a ransom.

He _was_ collecting ransom. Damn blond was getting into his head.

“Don’t just wander around. You’re still a prisoner. Someone might hurt you,” he grumbled at the Prince’s back.

“They’re not going to hurt me, they let me out.”

Zoro could just see the corner of Sanji’s mouth twitch as he suppressed a smile. Betrayed by his own crew! He should have known something like this would happen. They were all too damn soft!

“I’m only making lunch. It’s not like I’m trying to escape.”

Sanji stopped fussing and turned back around; his movements were stiff and contained. He was still on edge but he was trying to hide it. His face was still beaming confidence; his long fingers placed a cigarette between slender pink lips that pursed as a flame hovered, kindling the red glow. His nervousness excited Zoro, it looked good on him. So different from the haughty confidence that he put up as his front to the world. He seemed to be trying to make up for the past, trying to make a good impression.

“They’re a good crew,” the Prince said, his eyes fluttering at the first sweet breath of smoke. “Don’t be mad at them.”

“Like they need you to protect them!” Zoro scoffed.

Sanji clattered around, he picked out garnishes, pulled out some plates and rolled some dumplings up, placing them one by one on some mesh in a pot full of steam. Zoro sat in silence and watched him work. It certainly smelt good, whatever he was doing. He had put in all this effort. There had to be some kind of ulterior motive. He wanted it to be sex, Sanji was young and strong and sexy as hell. It had been a long time since he had shared his bed and he was so picky that he had to take a chance whenever one was presented. Sanji was _hot_. His body was hard; his face was like a painting and his dirty mouth made chills run up the Captain’s spine. He probably just wanted safe passage out but that small truth wasn’t going to get in the way of Zoro’s enjoyment of this moment. 

“That Blue guy is a bit precious though,” the Prince continued, “he got a little put out that the others wanted to try my cooking.”

Precious? Like he could talk!

“Here,” Sanji turned with a flourish and placed a plate down in front of the Captain. It had a couple of yellow dumplings and some kind of salad with hot meat. It was all colourful and fancy. Zoro picked up a fork and poked it.

“It won’t bite you, shit-head.”

“Shut up. You’re ruining my experience,” Zoro bit back. He stabbed a dumpling onto his fork and then crammed the entire thing into his mouth at once and chewed violently. The flavour filled his mouth. A rich blend of heat, umami and spice. It was delicate, harmonious… just _divine._

“You’re going to choke one day,” Sanji grumbled.

“ _Shut up_ ,” Zoro chewed, sneaking a sideways glance at the irate chef. He was all pink and grumpy. The food was _amazing_ but Sanji’s angry flushed cheeks were so damn _adorable_.

“So?” Sanji demanded.

“So what?” Zoro mumbled through a mouthful of meat.

“What do you think?!”

“It’s fine.” Sheesh, talk about high maintenance! It was kind of cute though. He couldn’t pretend that he wasn’t deliberately baiting the guy.

“ _Fine?!_ What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I’m eating it, aren’t I?” Zoro growled, stuffing another dumpling into his mouth. God, it was amazing, pity Sanji whined so much.

The Prince continued to stare at him the entire time he was eating. Finally, he had his last mouthful and stood back up.

“What?” Zoro bit. Moody bloody Princess. Not looking good on the sex front at this point. Zoro considered telling him what he really thought of the food but that scowl was too enticing. He could easily bait Sanji into another fight. It would be good to feel the clashing strength of his body up close again…

Sanji stood, as calm as ever. One hand in his pocket, smoke drifting slowly past his face. Behind the mask of calm, his heart raced in his chest.

“I want to join your crew,” the Prince said, his voice clear and steady.

Sanji kept telling himself that it didn’t matter. It had been his mantra all day, he had to believe it to have the courage to say what had been in the back of his mind since he first saw the way the crew interacted; they were so comfortable, so _happy_. The answer didn’t matter, he was just passing through after-all… but he’d enjoyed his time with these people. They were truly like family to each other. It was just what he had been missing, _family_. Always joking and laughing and looking out for each other, he wanted to feel like he belonged again. He had been cast off by the people who should love him the most but he could still build his own family and live his own life.

This would be a good first step in his journey away from a life fulfilling other people’s dreams.

_“What!?”_ Zoro exclaimed, his mouth hanging open for just that little bit too long. It wasn’t that hard to understand!

“I said ‘I want to j..’”

“I heard you, baka! Why?”

“I want to do something different, ok?” he huffed smoke and for a minute his features were blurred. Zoro swore he saw pain there. It wasn’t what he had expected.

“So you like the crew that much?” It was part distraction and part fishing, though Zoro would never admit it. Even though he had known him less than a week, he wanted to be one of the reasons that Sanji wanted to stay.

The Prince met Zoro’s gaze and smirked, turning off that flicker of emotion like a tap. Zoro couldn’t help but smile in return. He had to admit he really liked this man, so cocky and full of himself. It was just hot! He could see the Prince turn his feet ever so slightly. “Actually, they seem like a bunch of stubborn bastards,” he mused, cupping his hand to protect the small flame that licked the end of his next cigarette.

“I guess so. You could say I attract a certain type,” Zoro ducked, anticipating the sweeping axe kick perfectly.

“You’re not exactly Mr Flexible thinking yourself, asshole.”

“I’m up for new things,” Zoro’s lips curled involuntarily at the thoughts his words elicited.

“Well, let me join your crew then.” Sanji stepped forward and raised his foot. Zoro placed one hand on the hilt of his favourite sword but Sanji didn’t move. They stared at each other for a minute and then slowly lowered their weapons. Zoro took one step forward as he looked into that achingly clear blue eye…

“Lunchtime, everyone!” Sanji shouted.

Damn it.

Scamper was in the door like a shot followed by Rosa, the crew on deck and Poker last, as always. No, wait a minute… Blue marched down last of all cursing under his breath. Zoro managed to catch a couple of words about stupid rich people thinking they can do whatever they wanted. Oh well, he’d get over it.

He left the crew piled into every corner of the kitchen and munching loudly. They were really enjoying the food and the smile on Sanji’s face (and the scowl on Blue’s) warmed his heart. Zoro strolled to the railing and looked out over the wide blue ocean. Prince Sanji as a pirate? It explained why he had put up so little resistance to being captured but it created more questions than it answered. He couldn’t believe how impudent the guy was but he was fun… it would be a treat to keep him waiting for an answer just a little while. He probably wasn’t used to waiting for anything!

Zoro could hear the crew laughing and bolting down the food behind him. They seemed to get on pretty well with the Prince. Even _Rosa_ had let him out and she didn’t like anyone. Even though he was rude and obnoxious, there was something about him that made it easy to tolerate.

“There’s something else I wanted to say.”

Zoro heard a voice behind him and turned to see Sanji walking towards him. He just stood impassively and waited for the Prince.

“I… well…” he reached Zoro’s side and leaned over the railing, the sea breeze ruffling his soft blond hair. “I don’t think you’re so bad,” he said, looking out to sea.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Zoro grinned but he managed to keep it suppressed to the side away from Sanji.

“Nothing! You’re just not quite as much of a shit-head as I thought you were, that’s all.”

“What if I said you had to go back to your room for good?” Zoro deadpanned.

Sanji turned and faced the Captain, one visible eye blazing with indignation, “You wouldn’t!”

“I might.”

Sanji stamped his foot and turned a deep shade of red. He looked like a kid having a temper tantrum. This time he couldn’t suppress it, Zoro laughed.

“You’d better say yes!” Sanji poked him in the chest with one long pale finger.

Zoro leaned forward until he was definitely in Sanji’s personal space.

“A bribe wouldn’t hurt, you know,” he growled.

He waited for the inevitable kick to the side of the head but it didn’t happen. Instead, the Prince stepped forward too until their bodies were just touching. He leaned in slowly and brushed his lips over Zoro’s. The Captain’s body responded on its own, pulling Sanji close and kissing him deeply. He could taste the smoke and spices, hot and sweet, igniting a craving that he knew would keep him awake for weeks. He felt Sanji pull away, so he released him and stepped back.

The blond was smiling slightly and blushing, cheeks still stained with pink.

“That wasn’t a bribe!” he huffed, marching off towards the room he had been so keen to get out of.

Maybe he wouldn’t be so bad to have around after all.

  
\---xxx---


	4. Hard to Get

\---xxx---

  
  
Hngh… lips…

Soft, sweet and smoky.

In his dreams the taste was warm.

It was a heat that lingered, tingling on Zoro’s lips and suffusing his entire body. The bitter taste of cigarettes didn’t matter when he held Sanji close and felt the warmth of his skin. It was a feeling that had stayed with him, long after the Prince and his perfect ass had shuffled, embarrassed, out of sight.

He woke with the taste of smoke on his lips and the warmth of sweet, sweet dreams still with him. He had meant to consider Sanji’s request to join the crew overnight but before his mind had even turned to it, his body knew the answer.

\---xxx---

Sweat rolled off Zoro’s back and cooled in the stiff sea breeze. The swordsman’s view was of the ocean - perfectly calm - as he leapt from one side of the deck to the other, twisting and turning his flexible body into a variety of impossible strikes. The cold helped to clear his head and looking out across the ocean helped him to gain perspective.

It stretched out in every direction, huge, insurmountable, blue. It was the barrier to all his achievements but the road to his success. He felt its simple strength and its humble power in every roll of the ship. He used the force to make his own movements stronger, flowing like water from strike to strike, his eyes bright with focus.

He didn’t think, as such. He just moved - with the grace and determination of a born warrior, he let his body do all his contemplation. He had a lingering ache in his right shoulder, where he had pulled a muscle ever so slightly beating up too many marines a week ago. There was also a slight tightness when he swept his body to the left due to a knot in his back, but after an hour or two it loosened up. He felt comfortable, confident and in control. He could feel the power of each strike flow through his body, building momentum all the way from the decks below his feet, through every muscle of his conductive body to the tip of his glinting swords.

His body was responsive, alert and strong. No hesitation. No hassle.

He trusted his body.

Where his mind would query and race and sift – turning through meaningless words and motions – his body would simply accept. It was his greatest ally and confidant, trusted above all others.

…and it liked Sanji.

Zoro could tell by the lingering heat that coursed through him whenever the blond got close enough, by the slight catch in his breath when the memories raced back, the taste of smoke on his lips when he woke…

That kiss.

Normally nothing really excited him… his body was numb after years of training to reduce his sensitivity and boost his tolerance to pain. On the good side, he was now inured to all but the most extreme forms of torture. On the not so good side, he wondered if he had sacrificed his ability to feel the things that others took for granted… now he knew that wasn’t true, he wasn’t numb. That one short kiss left him tingling and hungry for more. It wasn’t going to end well. Pretty soon he was just going to scruff the guy and drag him off to the first empty room.

Even though it was annoying to admit, he was glad. His body still felt those desperate rushing throbs of lust that his mind had almost forgotten; put aside in his endless quest to be stronger, faster and ever closer to his goal. But there was something more than lust. There was something heavy and aching in the bottom of his chest, a tight dark spot that sucked the air from his lungs like gravity. Like a planet erupting inside him… His mind was fighting against it fiercely but to his body it was as plain as the taste of smoke lingering on his lips…

…it was a fact so simple and so obvious that his confused mind didn’t even have the words for it. An ache… an empty heavy spot was all it was but to Zoro, it was a truth as huge and crushing as the vastness of the ocean.

Stupid body was always right.

So what would he say?

_Stay._

_Stay here with me._

No. With _us_. Definitely us.

_That’s too fucking wussy. This is my ship after-all…_

Zoro slowly sheathed his katana and drew a deep breath. Sanji just felt right. For the crew, for him. He was usually so cynical… all that lovey dovey crap made him want to puke.

Stupid cook. He wasn’t what Zoro had expected from a Prince; he was clever and fiery and violent. He _was_ pretty fancy though, all clothes and ladies and cooking…

But he trusted his body.

It was the one thing in his life that had never let him down.

\---xxx---

“Well?”

Sanji stood in his most dramatic pose, one hand on his hip, the other loftily waving a smoking cigarette, which he jabbed in the air for punctuation.

“Well, what?” Zoro growled as he brushed past the Prince and headed in the direction of the cargo hold.

It had been this way all morning. Sanji would ask Zoro whether he had made up his mind and the hulking Neanderthal would wander off in the opposite direction as if he hadn’t heard a word of it.

“You know what!!!” Sanji shouted, waving a fist at the retreating green Marimo head.

The small cabin boy dropped down in front of him, sporting his usual inane grin. Sanji had realised by now that the boy didn’t talk, but he was surprisingly good company. He was clever and he didn’t mind drying the dishes so the Prince had managed to find a little time for him. He looked down at the grinning imp and tousled his hair with a distracted smile.

Why was Zoro suddenly so weird? Well, weird _er_. After all the flirting and cracking jokes about ravishing the Prince it seemed like the one kiss they shared had taken the wind out of his sails. For the Captain of a renowned pirate ship, he seemed to the Prince to be a bit of a wuss.

Sanji huffed in frustration and lit a cigarette. He was trying not to let it get to him but he was so caught up in this that it was hard to distance himself enough to think clearly. He wanted to be a part of this family so much, to have that familiar connection, a place to call home. He had missed being close to people so much during his years of training at the palace, always being told who he could talk to, where he could go. Zoro had such a great group of people here… and there was something about the stubborn moss-head that was comforting. Despite being a grumpy fuck Sanji knew that he could trust him and rely on him. Zoro would never betray him or use him to his own advantage. It made him want to stay more than ever.

Sanji’s trademark confidence wavered as a thought invaded his contemplations. There was no way that Zoro could have gotten bored of him, was there?

No.

No way!

He was gorgeous, talented _and_ he could cook. What more could anyone ask for? But Zoro was perverse… the man used three swords. That has to be a symptom of something. Maybe he was one of those guys who only wanted someone as long as they weren’t interested… That would make sense of some of his bizarre behaviour. If that was what he wanted, then the Prince would be happy to oblige. No one but NO ONE played harder to get than Sanji!

The blond gave one curt nod of determination and stepped forward, nearly tripping over the young boy who was still standing perilously close. As he regained his footing Sanji remembered the lad’s name - Scamper. He seemed to have lived a hard life for someone so young, maybe one day the Prince could do something about that, in the unlikely event that he became King of Erhardt. At least someone like this wouldn’t reject his friendly gestures and confuse him, like a certain stupid-head Marimo. Children were always so open and honest, so truthful.

It was nice to have the simplicity of the company of a child after his father tried to marry him off. How could he do that? As if his own son meant less to him than trade opportunities! It was time for him to make a new start, time for him to embrace the future. There was one problem though, if he wanted his future to be on this ship, then he would have to get around Zoro.

The boy head-butted his stomach then laughed silently, bringing Sanji down from his lofty contemplations.

“Ah, Scamper,” Sanji said, laughing at his own preoccupation, “I’m just so confused by your idiot Captain, what does he want from me?” He smiled down at the wide brown eyes, not really expecting a response. The youngster burned with emotion and raced away, waving his arms around as if he was trying to take off. Sanji managed to pick up something about picking flowers and a collection of gestures that looked like they were either a heart attack or a severe bout of food poisoning.

“Zoro wants me to cook?”

The boy made his arms into a big ‘X’ and shook his head furiously. He repeated the picking flowers gesture and then threw his arms into the air, staring at Sanji expectantly.

“He wants me to be his gardener?” This was just getting silly.

Scamper rolled his eyes and began making rather disturbing gestures that seemed to involve very big breasts and other parts of the female anatomy… Whoa. That was a little bit wrong.

“Now, now… I think that I get the point…” Sanji said hastily, just trying to get the boy to stop. He turned away, a little embarrassed and found the entire crew standing silently behind him, their fists jammed into their mouths and eyes streaming with suppressed laughter.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU STARING AT!?” Sanji growled, as he huffed off down the corridor to give the swordsman yet another piece of his mind.

\---xxx---


	5. Idiots in Love

\---xxx---

Zoro strolled down the wooden corridor between his room and the wheelhouse. He turned a corner and there was Sanji. Even though it was impossible - Zoro had just left the Prince behind him, so he obviously couldn’t be here – there he was. He was smoking furiously and tapping his foot in that foaming-at-the-mouth-I’m-going-to-kill-you way that he reserved for special occasions. Zoro saved them both some time by starting the argument himself,

“I can’t just decide by myself,” the Captain said, “I have to ask the crew.”

“Then ask the damn crew! They all like me! It’s only YOU that has a problem, Marimo!!!” Sanji shouted back, his ears had already turned slightly pink with rage.

“I don’t have a problem, shit-cook. You’re the one following me around howling like a banshee.”

“What the hell are you saying shitty moss-head?” Sanji growled, low and dangerous.

Zoro turned and faced the indignant Prince, “It’s just hard to do my job with you polluting my personal space with your bitching.”

The pink tinge spread from Sanji’s ears as he tried to suppress his anger enough to get out some kind of response. Zoro sighed and resigned himself to enduring *another* tirade. It was going to be a long day.

The Captain was trying to figure out how to tell the crew that he wanted the Prince to stay, but the fiery blond wasn’t going to give him two seconds to figure it out. They had been arguing about it for at least an hour. It was definitely time to do something about this. Zoro did not do lectures.

The swordsman pivoted, catching Sanji mid-gasp as he tried to choke his bile down long enough to start shouting again. He knocked the Prince’s legs out from under him with a waist-high sweep, pushing him down when he tried to flip to his hands to regain his balance. It was a lucky strike, but Zoro had always been a lucky guy. He leaned in, pinning Sanji to the floor and staring daggers into his eyes. At least while he was pinned he couldn’t jump out from behind every piece of furniture on the ship and try to kick Zoro in the head. Very mature. On the other hand, the whole pinning thing wasn’t helping in other ways. His body was making its plans for the leggy blond more than clear…

Zoro shifted his hips to the right and just hoped that the rather distinctive tent in his pants wasn’t as glaringly obvious to Sanji as it was to him.

“I do not HOWL! How dare you!” Sanji fumed, wriggling in an attempt to break Zoro’s grip. _Great, he got his voice back._ The swordsman could feel the innate strength in the powerful muscles grinding against him. He was so sure that the Prince could get away if he chose to but instead he struggled, frothing and foaming with royal indignation.

“You have to give me time to ask them,” Zoro said firmly, “I can’t just throw them into this!”

The Prince tilted his head up and blew smoke into the Captain’s face, despite the rough physicality of their struggle, he had still managed to keep a firm hand on his lit cigarette. His perfect pout formed one undeniable word, “LIAR!”

Zoro narrowed his eyes against the sting of the smoke, he felt an overwhelming urge to just lean down and kiss the struggling blond… to have that sweet taste of smoke and heat on his lips again. He leaned down and hovered, his face only a few achingly short inches from that perfect pout. Sanji’s expression was unreadable, his bright blue eyes intent with some thought that Zoro could not interpret. He wanted to move, he wanted to kiss him so badly but the look in his eyes, the burning indignation, stopped him in his tracks.

“You don’t know what you want, do you?” the Prince whispered.

The warm air from his breath smelt like his lips tasted, Zoro could feel the hunger building as he moved slowly closer… just before his lips brushed those soft pink petals, Sanji spoke again, all of the softness gone from his imperial voice,

“I’ll tell you what you want. You want me, Marimo. And I don’t know if I’m in the mood for all your bullshit.”

With one sharp heel to his ribs, Zoro was hefted across the room. By the time he bounced off the rear wall, he found that he was in an empty corridor.

_What the hell was that all about?_

Che.

At least he had some time to think now… with the way Sanji was looking at him with that perfect stupidly blue eye, he couldn’t put this off any longer.

\---xxx---

“So what do you all think?” Zoro asked the assembled crewmembers.

Nobo sprawled across the bench making a skin-crawling noise of metal scraping on metal as he sharpened the blade on one of Rosa’s ridged knives. Blue wobbled in the corner, seeming to defy physics as he hovered on the stringy clear tentacles that served him as legs. Scamper was somewhere in the room but Zoro had lost track of him, he loved to hide over furniture and drop bits of fluff onto anyone the chose to sit down near his little trap. Zoro had woken up once completely buried in what had to be an entire cotton field worth. How the kid had managed it, he would never know.

The rest of the crew were jammed into the available nooks and crannies, calling them ‘motley’ would be harsh but not entirely inaccurate. He’d had Rosa rustle them up because if he did it, one of them inevitably missed the meeting. It wasn’t like they didn’t respect him, but for some reason he couldn’t get from one end of the ship to the other without getting stuck in some weird supply cupboard that he had never seen before. He swore that Sarah had a phantom assistant that moved everything around when he was asleep. What else could it be?!

“How do you know he’s genuine?” Poker asked solemnly. He had jammed himself into a wicker chair in the corner and it was creaking and sinking slowly to the floor in protest. His eyes were gummed with sleep but he was still clear and concise, for such a big guy he had a neat way of folding himself up into the tiniest spaces.

“How many chefs do we need anyway?” Blue grumbled into his tentacles.

The crew glanced at each other waiting for anything else to be said, and then they all looked at Zoro.

“What?” he growled, in a general challenge.

“You’re the Captain!” Rosa said impatiently.

Zoro glared at her. Why did she think he had called this damn meeting? He didn’t want to let Sanji join the crew if _someone_ was just going to poison him… he glared at Blue.

The wicker chair gave an alarming creak and Scamper crawled out hastily from behind Poker’s chair. He stood in front of Zoro and beamed up at him.

It seemed the cook had one vote at least.

Zoro looked around the room. Everyone was waiting for him to decide.

“He’s staying,” the swordsman said, ruffling Scamper’s hair. The boy hugged him and ran off to gesticulate the good news to the blond.

_Oh, to be a fly on the wall…_

“What the hell am I going to do then?!” Blue demanded.

Zoro rolled his eyes and drew a breath in order to tell Blue _exactly_ what he could do. Rosa cut him off though, standing with her back to the Captain and talking to Blue in a soothing voice,

“Didn’t you always want to work on the ship with Sarah?” she asked. Sarah was the shipwright and general handy-woman. She fixed leaks, breaks, tears and gaping holes quicker than anyone Zoro had ever met. She also had long blonde hair, sweet plump cheeks and a generous figure. Nice if you liked that kind of thing.

It appeared that Blue did.

“Well… I guess I could maybe…” Blue smiled sheepishly at Sarah, who winked in reply.

Trust Rosa to have it all planned out in advance. It occasionally made Zoro wonder exactly who made the decisions but he still got to pursue his dream so it didn’t really matter…

“Perfect! Sarah, come over here and get your new apprentice. You’re always saying you could use another pair of hands,” Rosa grinned, making this sound a lot ruder than it should have.

After shoo-ing the new team out of the room, Rosa turned on the Captain, “You going to tell him then?”

“Why don’t you?” Zoro shot back. _It was her stupid plan anyway!_

Rosa just stared at him.

He returned the stare.

Together, they waited as the crew filed out of the room. Zoro stood his ground.

Rosa stared at him some more and raised one pencil-perfect eyebrow as if to say ‘just how dumb are you?’

“Kami!” he huffed, stamping his foot in annoyance, “Captain, my ass,” he grumbled as he strode out of the room to share the good news.

\---xxx---

“Shit-cook,” Zoro said, addressing the lump on the bed.

“Just go away. I don’t want to join your stupid crew anymore.” 

Zoro blinked at this news. _What had he been making such a fuss about, then?_

“Ok. Fine,” the swordsman huffed, one hand hovering on the door handle.

“You don’t want me anyway,” Sanji mumbled into his pillow.

A smile twitched on Zoro’s lips. He hadn’t realised how much he wanted Sanji to stay until he heard those words and for one terrible second, he had really thought that the Prince wanted to leave. Instead, he was just throwing a royal sized tantrum. For some reason, it made Zoro want to tickle him.

Well, that would be his random impulse for the day.

To distract himself from the images of them both cavorting on the bed, Zoro took a deep breath and prepared to start the speech that he had been planning all day, the speech where he told Sanji how he felt and exactly how much he wanted the cook to stay…

But the words caught in his throat. He wasn’t a lover, he was a fighter and that was why this sexy arrogant man was everything he ever dreamed of, wild and angry with his hair all messy and his eyes burning with passion…

“Well, target-brow…” Zoro turned so that his irrepressible grin was facing the other way, “get downstairs and start doing our laundry.”

Sanji gave him a look that would have melted a mere mortal and Zoro didn’t blink. “I’m not going to do your fucking laundry, Marimo.”

“But you could be my French maid… might help you to clean up that filthy mouth. Doesn’t it make your delicious food taste spoilt?”

“No. Fucking. Laundry.”

“That’s mutiny then,” Zoro shook his head sadly and drew a katana a few inches from its sheath for effect, “what’s the point of having a blond cook who won’t wear a maid outfit?”

Sanji began to wave a fist, warming up for a good royal tirade, when he realised the implications of what the swordsman was saying. He was a member of the crew. He was one of them.

And Zoro said his cooking was delicious. Of course!

Sanji turned back to face his Captain, colour starting to creep into his cheeks. “I’m still not doing the laundry. I’m a Prince. Do you have any idea what that means?! Well for a start, it means no laundry..” Sanji lined up his fingers to count off his list of demands but the Captain got there first,

“You want to be on the crew, you pull your damn weight. If that means laundry, then you do laundry, rookie!”

Zoro leaned forward, drawing the blade he had grasped a moment ago only for show.

“I’m not touching some soiled piece of scrap that has been on your ass. It’s not happening!” Prince Sanji stood to his full royal height and raised one powerful leg so it was hovering dangerously over the swordsman.

They both took one long, controlled breath and then leapt at each other.

Zoro meant to beat the shit out of the mouthy bastard.

He did.

At least, that was what he told himself as his lips met the soft taste of smoke that haunted his dreams and his confidant body took over from his poor, confused mind.

Sanji, on the other hand, had been ready for this all along. His hand clasped the strong jaw, fingers riffing through the tinkling earrings. He kissed Zoro lightly and then hummed happily as a rough hand closed in his hair, pulling him closer. After a brief struggle, Sanji was on top (of course) and he had the joy of seeing Zoro’s eyelids flutter as he sunk into the man’s lap. He counted it as a victory but the truth was, maybe he wasn’t that hard to get after all.

\---xxx---

“What the hell is that?” Blue asked, rolling with his curious tentacled gait over to where Rosa leaned against the railing.

“That, the hell, is love,” Rosa replied, smiling down at the boiling storm wreaking destruction across the deck. The Prince’s long legs wove between the bright flashes of Zoro’s swords reflecting in the sunlight. With all the sweat and straining muscles, it was quite hypnotic, she had been watching the two men compete for what seemed like hours. After the noise that she heard from Zoro’s cabin the night before, she was amazed that they had the energy to fight.

“Oh,” Blue said, looking back down at the screaming pair as they wrestled and fought. His long blue face sagged and he sighed with the force of the defeated. “Why the hell didn’t anyone just tell me?”

Rosa leaned a little further out to get a better view and smirked, “It was funnier this way.”

“Thanks Rosa. Anyone ever tell you you’re an evil bitch?” Blue enquired with another weary sigh before squelching off below deck.

“You’re welcome,” she said to the salty air and then she settled in for as long as the spectacle lasted, to enjoy the view and grin at the sight of her Captain - the man who was always in control - totally losing his head.

\---xxx---


End file.
